


At the end of the world

by EleenaDume



Series: Spop fics! [3]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: ...I made myself upset again, Adora just wants to help, And here we go again with more angst with these two, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canonical Child Abuse, Catra (She-Ra) Needs Therapy, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra)-centric, Catra is struggling, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I’m very very sorry, Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Poor Catra (She-Ra), Pre-Canon, Soul-Crushing, Teen Catradora, What Is Wrong With ME, Why is there so much angst in this, You Have Been Warned, beware of the angst, feel free to ignore the last sentence, or well a somewhat happy ending, she succeeds, somewhat at least, that then gets sad again, there is a little fluff somewhere in here I promise, why am zu like thiiiis, why can’t I just let them be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25069513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EleenaDume/pseuds/EleenaDume
Summary: ‘If you really want to protect me so badly, why don’t you protect me from her?’But she wouldn’t do that even if she knew the truth about everything, would she? Because Adora loved the praise she was getting from that awful woman. She wouldn’t risk that just because Shadow Weaver was hurting her best friend, right?Catra felt sick and disgusted at herself for thinking that way a few seconds later.There it was again – the awful, dumb resentment that was eating away at her sometimes, that had shown its ugly face time and again over the last few years, its appearances becoming more and more frequent the older she grew.It turned Adora’s kind words and gentle touches to poison in her head.—In which Adora protecting Catra in training gets Catra in trouble, and Shadow Weaver’s words haunt Catra to a point that she doesn’t dare to talk to her best friend about what is really going on.Takes place several years before the show when they are both teens.TW: Child abuse, mental and physical.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Spop fics! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791085
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	At the end of the world

**Author's Note:**

> Heads up, this got pretty long and also really, really angsty. There is some fluff later on, though, I promise.
> 
> If you want this to end on a (somewhat) light note, there are several returns at the end before one final line that makes everything worse again, so ignore said line.
> 
> If you are in a situation like this in real life, please don’t keep it to yourself. Tell someone so you can find a way out of the situation. You deserve better ❤️

Catra had her back against the wall. The robot's deadly eye was pointed directly at her.

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. _

She hadn’t been careful enough and the damn thing had laid a snare that she had fallen right into. Even worse, now that she’d lost her weapon she had no real way to fight the robot.

The teen covered her face protectively. She had merely seconds to think of a way out of this situation before-

“Hey princess!” That was Adora’s voice. Catra looked up to see that her best friend was now standing in between her and the bot, her staff raised. “That’s my best friend you’re targeting right there!” She hit the robot once, twice, three times, and growled. “You hurt her, you die!”

A moment later, she’d stabbed the robot right through the deadly eye and it sunk to the ground, crackling with electricity one more time before all light in its' eye disappeared completely – and with it, so did the simulated princess.

Adora wiped sweat off her forehead.

“Whew, that was close.” She offered Catra a hand to help her up. “I think that was the last one.”

The brunette was about to take her best friend’s hand when a voice rang through the room, cold and menacing with a calm, terrifying angry undertone.

“Good work, cadets!” 

Shadow Weaver’s voice made Catra’s blood run cold.

Her outstretched hand turned into a clenched fist as she got up herself, her knees weak.

Despite the fact that she was taller, stronger now, the woman that had less raised than barely tolerated her throughout her childhood still made her feel small and vulnerable just by being present.

“Especially you, Adora. You will truly make an exceptional leader one day.”

The blonde flinched a bit when the older woman touched her face in a gentle gesture. It wasn’t that she wasn’t proud of the praise she was getting... but despite everything, she was still scared of Shadow Weaver.

“I- thank you,” Adora replied, gulping a bit. “I was just doing my best. We all were.”

“Of course.” The blonde relaxed a bit when finally, the older woman let go of her face. “It just so happens to be that _your_ _best_ is a lot better than _everyone else’s_.”

Catra could practically feel the woman glaring at her. The brunette felt herself shrink smaller and smaller.

This wasn’t fair. 

She had beaten almost as many robots as Adora had – and that was saying a lot, especially since this was one of the rare occasions that they were practicing with real lasers... but none of that seemed to matter in the wake of the mistake she had made in the last few minutes.

“Go now or you’ll be late for dinner. We’ll discuss your performances more in the morning.” 

Catra got up immediately. She just wanted to get out of here before- but everyone else was closer to the door. Before she could reach it, her body froze in the air and the door slid close behind the last of the others as if by an invisible hand, and Catra was trapped inside... alone with the woman that she hated and feared more than anything in the entire word.

**_ “Not you, Catra._** ** _”_ **Her body was lifted into the air, surrounded by a chillingly familiar red glow as she was turned around by force to face Shadow Weaver. The woman’s voice was hateful, menacing, and Catra dreaded what would come next. _“_ _ That was a poor performance, even for you. ” _

“T-that’s not true! I took down three robots! Adora just had one more! I was good today!”

The young girl’s voice was shaking. Shadow Weaver was looming over her, the older woman’s eyes narrowed to slits.

She was livid, and that Catra tried to defend her behavior made her even angrier.

“ ** _Don’t_** try to vindicate your shortcomings,  _**your failures**_.” Catra felt her body tense when the grip the red glow had on her became stronger, more powerful, and started to hurt. “I would say that I‘m disappointed in you, but that would imply that I had actually expected anything else,  anything better from you in the first place.  _**I**_ **_didn’t._** We all know you’d be  _**nothing**_ without Adora here to save you.”

_ That hurt. _

Shadow Weaver had years of practice. She knew which areas to target for it to hurt the most.

Adora was Catra’s best friend, and she was the only good thing in her life... but being reduced to the girl’s helpless, useless sidekick was degrading.

Shadow Weaver  loved reminding Catra that Adora was like one of the moons that lit up the world, while Catra herself was barely a firefly in comparison that the older woman could crush between her fingertips at any given moment without it being a big loss to her or the Horde. That the brunette was practically worthless, and that her only worth was directly connected to Adora.

Catra felt sick.

“T-that’s not true! I don’t need her!  _I never needed her!”_

For all the defiance in her words, her voice was squeaky and quiet. 

She was  _terrified._

“Oh,  _but you do_ _._ ” The shadows closed around her, separating her from the rest of the world, and Catra once again felt like a frightened little girl instead of the young skilled teen that she actually was. “The fact that she has taken a liking to you for a reason beyond my understanding is the only reason I keep you around here in the first place instead of throwing you back to the thrash that you crawled out of.”

Her voice was cold and monotone, and that just made everything worse.

Shadow Weaver made Catra feel small and helpless and useless.

She heard more than what was being said, and despite the fact that the words she did say were already hurtful enough, the threat that loomed behind them made it  so much worse.

**_ ‘You’re not a person. You’re barely a broken toy that we don’t throw away because my favorite child still likes you for whatever reason. Should she ever cease liking you, that will be the end of your existence.’ _ **

Catra wanted to jump at Shadow Weaver, to _hurt her_ the way  _she was hurting, to yell all of her cruel words back into her face_ ,  but instead, the teen just stood there, frozen in fear and terror, her words getting stuck in her throat.

She closed her eyes and braved herself for what she knew would come next.

One blow, then a second, then a third, accompanied by more demeaning, spiteful words.

The teen bit her lip so hard it drew blood, barely managing to keep herself from crying out in pain and desperation. She swallowed the tears that were forming in her eyes bravely. She would  _not_ give this woman the satisfaction of hearing her scream and seeing her cry anymore.

“Catra, are you okay?” They were sitting in the lunchroom now, Adora across from Catra. While the former was shoving the food into her mouth at an insane speed, the latter was just picking at the ration bars instead of eating them. The blonde glanced at her best friend worriedly and lowered her voice. “Did- did she hurt you again?”

Catra flinched.

_ So her best friend had realized what was going on, after all?  _

_ Did she know how bad it was?  _

_ What did she assume was happening? _

_...should Catra talk to her about it? _

“I-” The brunette started, but she never finished the sentence. 

She wanted to ask all of these questions, so badly. She wanted to ask Adora for help, to ask her to talk to Shadow Weaver and stand up to her and help Catra. ...but Shadow Weaver’s words kept repeating at the back of her mind.  
_‘_ _We all know you’d be nothing without Adora here to save you.’_

 _But that wasn’t true. _ _She didn’t need Adora to save her._ She could do this on her own. 

Catra didn’t need  anyone to protect her when she could just become strong enough to protect herself.

_ Adora didn’t make Catra who she was. _

_ Catra wasn’t worthless.  _

**_She’d prove that to everyone._ **

...so she just shook her head.

“I’m fine. And she isn’t hurting me. I just hurt my shoulder a little during training and then stayed behind to patch myself up. Her shadows just creep me out, that’s all.” The words came out surprisingly convincing. She sounded almost indifferent. Catra pushed her plate away. “I’m just not very hungry.”

That wasn’t true, exactly, but she was pretty sure that whatever she would eat she’d throw back up instantly anyway. She was pretty sure her stomach was currently in her chest instead of her belly after the blows it had taken.

Her entire body ached... but at least nothing was bleeding this time. 

She’d just end up with a couple of bruises. 

She’d live. 

_ She always had. _

Adora cocked her head to the side. She knew something was up, even if her best friend didn’t tell her what it was. The blonde girl was a bit ditzy, but she wasn’t stupid, and she wasn’t blind. She’d known Catra long enough to be able to tell that much. If only Adora could get her best friend to open up to her somehow...

“Come on. You have to eat  _something_.”

First things first. That was what was most important right now.

They didn’t get that much to eat around here. Skipping a meal meant going to bed hungry and possibly not being able to appease one’s hunger in the morning when they got their next meal. Catra needed to eat, or she would regret it later.

**_ “I  said I’m not hungry! ” _ **

Catra got up. 

Her voice was harsh and cold, and she pushed the table so hard that the plate flew off it, splintering into a thousand pieces, the food splashing all over the floor.

There was a second of regret within Catra... but she felt too sick to eat, anyway. She wouldn’t have been able to keep anything down.

The room went dead silent for a moment and the two were just stared at – then everyone continued to go about their day.

Fights were a daily phenomenon around here.

As long as nobody got killed, nobody bothered to interfere.

The brunette couldn’t stay here any longer. Not with all these people, not with the other cadets from her squad,  and especially not with Adora.

She stormed out of the room.

“Catra!” 

Adora sighed, took one last bite of her meal, then ran after her.

“Catra wait!” The younger girl stopped short. She felt a pang of guilt form in her stomach. She hadn’t wanted Adora to miss dinner because of her. Adora took a moment to catch her breath when she was finally next to her best friend again. “Can... can you please tell me what’s going on? Did I make you upset? I’m sorry...”

Her best friend didn’t even look at her.

“It’s just-  _I can’t believe you stole my kill like that!_ ” Catra hissed.

That wasn’t it. Not really. But it was close enough to be believable.

Adora looked at her in shock.

“That’s what this is about? Catra, this wasn’t a game! You almost got really hurt!”

There was a reason they rarely trained with actual laser fire, and why only cadets that passed certain tests were allowed to do it in the first place. 

People got hurt occasionally, and, albeit very rarely because their instructors usually managed to stop the training simulation before it happened, someone died.

It was necessary to remind them that this wasn’t a game every now and again, to keep them in their toes and to make them aware that, when they finished training, they would be fighting  **_in an actual war._**

People got hurt in wars. People died in wars. What was now an occasional training session would be their day-to-day life in a few years.

Adora always looked out for Catra, but in the training sessions that were actually dangerous, her protectiveness reached a whole new level. 

She couldn’t help it... especially in situations like earlier, where her best friend had looked so genuinely scared.

“I know that. I’m not stupid. I could have handled it.”

Catra’s voice was monotone. She still didn’t look at Adora. She rather eyed the floor instead.

She didn’t want her to see how badly she was hurting.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say- it’s just- You just kind of looked helpless, and I thought-”

Adora bit her lip and hanged her head. She’d just wanted to help her best friend, but that had backfired massively, and now Catra was mad at her... and her apologetic rambling just made things worse.

“Well, I wasn’t!” The brunette hissed.

...alright, maybe she had been helpless. A little. But she would have found a way out. 

She always did. 

She didn’t need Adora for that. She didn’t need Adora for _anything_.

Shadow Weaver’s words had really gotten to Catra.

“I was just trying to protect you!” The blonde defended herself, trying to get through to her best friend’s thick skull. Adora didn’t like fighting with Catra. She just wanted to get this over with. ‘ _It’s not because I think you’re weak, or that you can’t protect yourself. I know you can,’_ she wanted to say. _‘But the thought of you getting hurt... I can’t take it. It drives me completely crazy.’_

She reached for her friend, wanting to take her hand to comfort her a little, but she never actually got to touch her or to say anything else.

_** “ WELL, YOU’RE DOING AN AWFUL JOB OF IT! ** _ _**”**_ Catra snarled, in a tone that made even herself a bit taken aback by the poison in her words.

Adora’s shoulders sagged a little as she let her hand sink.

Catra felt awful. She wanted to break down into Adora’s arms and cry while she held her... but that would have been weak, and Catra wasn’t allowed to be weak, especially not in front of Adora. They weren’t supposed to be weak or vulnerable  at all . It made them a liability in battle if they were. Adora would have hated her if she‘d known the truth about everything – if she‘d known how weak Catra truly still was, even after all these years.

...and then there was this tiny, spiteful voice whispering in the back of her mind that Catra tried to tune out so badly. 

_ ‘ If you really want to protect me so much, why don’t you protect me from her? !’ _

_But she wouldn’t do that even if she knew the truth about everything, would she? Because Adora loved the praise she was getting from that awful woman. **She wouldn’t risk that just because Shadow Weaver was hurting her best friend, right?**_

Catra felt sick and disgusted at herself for thinking that way a few seconds later.

There it was again – the awful, dumb resentment that was eating away at her sometimes, that had shown its ugly face time and again over the last few years, its appearances becoming more and more frequent the older she grew. 

It turned Adora’s kind words and gentle touches to poison in her head. 

For a moment, she almost hated her best friend... and then her anger turned to desperation, and she hated herself for even thinking like that for a single second.

Adora was the only good thing about this awful place. The only thing that kept her sane. How dare she even  so much as think  something like that?

_...how dare she let Shadow Weaver’s words get to her to an extent that it influenced her friendship with Adora?! _

**_ ‘What is wrong with me?!’ _ **

She couldn’t look at Adora anymore, so she turned around and ran away again, back to the room they all shared to sleep that was currently pretty abandoned since dinner was barely over.

Catra curled up in bed; Adora’s bed, to be more specific – because it smelled like her and that helped her calm down a little –, and she just sobbed silently for a couple of minutes.

Then she heard the door open and close again, and when she looked up, Adora was sitting next to her on the bed and offered her her hand.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” the brunette mumbled, glancing over her shoulder instead of actually turning around to face her friend.

Catra was more upset than she was angry, and she didn’t want Adora to see her cry, despite the fact that the blonde was probably able to hear her sobs anyway.

Adora hanged her head, but she pulled herself together and smiled weakly.

“You don’t have to. But you’re obviously upset, and I’m not going to leave you. Not now, not ever.”

Catra’s heart melted. She sat up and moved closer towards her friend until her back touched Adora’s, and they sat like that for a long while, Catra still sobbing silently, but now, each of her sobs was accompanied by a comforting squeeze of her hand.

Eventually, their peaceful togetherness was rudely interrupted as the door opened once more.

“Rogelio?” Lonnie called out as she stuck her head through the door. “Okay, no, he’s not in here, either.” Then she spotted Catra and Adora and walked up to them. “Hey, have you guys seen-” She cut off in mid-sentence and coked her head to the side at the fairly weird image of the two girls sitting back to back in the bunk. “Why are you two sitting like this?”

“We had a fight, and now she won’t talk to me,” Adora replied, scratching the back of her head with the hand that wasn’t holding Catra’s, a weak smile plastered on her face. The fact that she was still very upset was unmistakable in her voice.

Their fellow cadet raised an eyebrow.

“Then why are you holding hands?”

“Catra gets sad when we fight,” the blonde replied without thinking.

Her best friend blushed and let go of her hand immediately, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I do not.”

_...yes, she did.  _

_ She hated fighting with Adora. _

Lonnie just shook her head and groaned.

“Why are you guys _so_ _weird?”_

“We’re not weird,” Catra growled.

“Yes, you definitely are.” Lonnie rolled her eyes. “Adora, when you’re done being a weirdo about Catra, you can come play with us in the locker room if you want. Kyle invented a game that sounds pretty fun. It involved something with spinning a bottle, I think? I don’t know, I kinda forgot.”

“I’d love to.” Adora bit her lip. “But only if Catra can come, too.”

Lonnie shook her head.

“Adora, I know you’re nice and all, but none of us actually understand why you hang out with her so much in the first place. Catra’s mean, and she doesn’t like us. And, quite frankly, we don’t like her, either.” Lonnie had had her less bad moments with Catra – moments where she’d felt sorry for her, moments where she almost felt like they could be friends... but Catra had always gone back to her usual cold, rude demeanor immediately afterwards, and Lonnie was incredibly tired of that. Either the girl wanted to be her friend, or she didn’t. And if she couldn’t keep being nice to Lonnie and her friends, Catra obviously didn’t. Lonnie wouldn’t play this game any longer. “Even if we would allow her to come, she wouldn’t want to, and if she did, she’d ruin our evening... so sorry, but no thanks.”

The blonde growled.

“Don’t talk about my best friend like that!”

“But she’s right,” Catra mumbled. “I don’t like them, and I wouldn’t want to play their stupid game anyway. Feel free to go without me if you want to.” 

She had a very hard time not breaking down in tears, but the last thing she wanted right now was to be vulnerable again, especially in front of this stupid girl that was always trying to steal her best friend from her. ...the same stupid girl that she’d hit in a fit of jealous rage back when they were kids, and that had patched her up after a particularly bad training session that one time. And that Catra had then snapped at as a ‘ _ thank you _ ’ the next day.

_...the more Catra thought about it, the more certain she was that, had she been anyone else, she wouldn’t have wanted to be friends with herself, either. _

“No. I won’t. I’m staying with you,” Adora replied.

Catra almost managed a smile.

_ Damn it, how was this girl so perfect? _

Lonnie shrugged.

“Whatever, suit yourself. Have you guys seen Rogelio?”

“No, sorry. I think I saw him at dinner, but I have no idea where he went afterwards,” Adora replied. “He’s definitely not been in here since we finished dinner.”

“Okay. Thanks anyway. I’ll find him, probably. You guys have ... _ fun? _ ... with whatever the heck you’re doing. See you later.”

As soon as the door closed behind her, Catra’s hand found Adora’s again.

“You didn’t have to stay, you know.”

“Yeah. But I wanted to,” the blonde replied with a smile. “Besides, I didn’t want to go play with her after that anyway. I like Lonnie, and I like hanging out with her, but I don’t like the way she talked about you. You’re my best friend. Nobody is allowed to speak to you that way.“ 

“I... thank you.”

The brunette was still facing the wall, her voice was extremely quiet.

“Catra, listen, I...” Adora started, trying her best to find the right words. “I’m sorry about earlier. I know you can take care of yourself. It’s just... the thought that that robot could hurt you, or worse...” She gulped. “I couldn’t just stand by and watch. I had to do  _something._ ” Adora squeezed Catra’s hand again. “I’d never let anyone hurt you. Especially not a princess. I promised I would look out for you, remember?” Adora smiled at her softly. “I’m intending to keep that promise for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Catra replied without missing a beat... then flattened her ears. “But thank you. I don’t want anything to happen to you, either.” 

She gulped. She was being hurt... but it wasn’t Adora’s fault, and there was nothing Adora could do about it – not without putting herself in danger. And Catra didn’t want that. 

The one thought she could bear even less than having to take these blows all her life was the thought of Adora taking them for her. 

...the resentment was gone now, replaced by warmth and worry. 

“I can’t lose you,” the brunette whispered. “Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t know who I’d be without you.”

It wasn’t an apology, exactly... but Adora didn’t blame her. 

Catra had never been good at apologies. Most people here weren’t. This was as good as it got, and she appreciated it. 

Besides, at least part of the situation had been Adora’s fault, after all, so she didn’t really blame her.

Catra finally turned around to face her best friend again, allowing the blonde to wipe the tears off her cheeks. The brunette just let her do it without complaint, even enjoying the touch. 

It made her feel warm inside.

_ Maybe being weak for once was okay, after all. _

“Yeah, me either.” 

Adora shrugged and pulled her best friend close. She was just happy they weren’t fighting anymore, and that she could finally hug her again to properly comfort her. 

Catra snuggled up to her, her head nestling against the crook of the blonde’s neck.

“Good think we’ll never have to find out, right?”

“Never,” Adora emphasized. “I’m never going to leave you. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to be anywhere without you, ever.”

She stroked Catra’s head, making the girl purr happily. The blonde liked Catra’s purrs, especially when she so close to Adora’s chest. They made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“And even if you leave... wherever you go, I’ll go. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Forever. _One day, it’s going to be you and me, together at the end of the word,_ ” Catra added.

The thought made her a weird amount of happy. She hadn’t thought she would be able to smile again after the day she’d had, and the memories still made her shake, and the bruises still hurt... but she was smiling now. 

_ Because Adora made her happy. _

“Exactly. Nothing can separate us.” Adora beamed as she touched the picture they had carved into the bed when they were kids, shortly after they‘d first met. “Just like nothing can separate tiny Catra and Adora. They’ll be there on the bed frame together until the end of time.” She squeezed Catra’s hand. “Come on, we should get some sleep now so you don’t accidentally sleep in again tomorrow.”

Catra stayed silent for a moment, then breathed a silent  “Okay.”

The two of them fell asleep arm in arm, the brunette sprawled out over her best friend.

  
  


  
When Catra woke up again, she was alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt “you hurt her, you die” on Tumblr, requested a total of three times by different people: @altheaudaku @whoufflewhovian200311 and @brenda4082.
> 
> I contemplated using the prompt for something that takes place during the final season of the show or after the show, but I always ended up going back to the idea of it taking place when Catra and Adora are in their young teens.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> I hope you, uh... didn’t cry too much? Liked the pain this caused you?  
> ...I’m sorry...🙈  
> Please remember that they’re together and happy now and Catra is safe and working on herself. Look at some pictures of them kissing and cuddling to make yourself feel better.  
> Feedback would be much appreciated!


End file.
